We've decided it's going to be a Red Solo Cup Week..........Jack says some people won't get this but since I'm the "country" girl in this couple I'm thinking most of you will. If you don't get it watch Toby Keith's video called just that...Red Solo Cup.
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| I happen to look back and see Sydney with her little paws clasped together and her head down. The camera flash brought her head up. She looked as if she were praying. "Dear Lord, please help dad quit saying the "F" word and get us out of Miami safely. Amen." |
Row Faster-I hear Banjo's..............
That has nothing at all to do with anything except Jack saw it on a T shirt and I thought it was hilarious. I'm so easily entertained. And as you may have seen in one of his pictures I was standing in a store front entrance pointing to Bitch # 3 T shirt. Two women walked by and asked me what # I measured myself? I told them number 3 and Jack remarked to them, "Yea, and that's after she's had 2 beers. Otherwise the number would be higher!" Now some women might be hurt or upset by this kind of remark; me, I know the truth when I hear it. By the time I'm 60 chances are there won't be a shirt that will measure my bitchiness. Boy, could I tell you some stories! And those stories would be just from this week. But this week has been about letting go and having some fun and finally understanding why Americans are the most over weight bunch in the group.
Where to begin?
I guess I'll start with the suite Jack booked for us this week. He really out done himself this time. Beautifully decorated, spacious and stunning wood cabinetry with marble counter tops. This hotel has the most mesmerizing landscaped gardens and lighted pool I think I've ever seen. I do have to question their thought process on two things though: 1st. When you offer a dog friendly suite why in the heck would you use white sofas and a white comforter? Call me crazy but I'm thinking most dogs jump on furniture because most of us who have dogs are too dang lazy to train them not to. That's why we have leather furniture at home. Much easier to clean. But here's the second thing that really puzzles me. What idiot person invented see through glass shower doors? Just like mirrors in RV's. If you are young, firm and have a butt like J Lo, well, good freaking loddy da for you. At my age, though, showers and glass doors should not even be used in the same sentence.
Despite those two "little things" the place was great. We were directly across from Smathers Beach. Saw a lot of people on the beach but saw no one in the water. The first few nights we'd take the dogs over to the beach and let them run. Sydney was like a kid in a candy store. She loved running and teasing Tanner. Tonight, though, we just happen to read the signs that were plastered at every entrance-NO ANIMALS PERMITTED ON THE BEACH. Ooops! Guessed we missed those the first few times around.
As I said above the gardens at the hotel are stunning. But the grass here has really large blades and looks more like well groomed shag grass than the finer blue grass blades we are accustomed to in Indiana. Sydney did not like it at all. We had to force her in to it to potty. HOWEVER, our little Miss Priss did find something she likes more than she likes chasing squirrels. She discovered Salamanders. Tiny, slimy, varmints that skerrie about everywhere in the court yards. She chased one today in to the landscaping bark and began digging like she was headed to China. She finally did catch up to one later in the day. It must have ran across her nose cause she jumped back like she'd been bitten. Not too sure she is as brave now as she was yesterday.
Tanner has had a ton of energy this week and has even gone up and down numerous stairs and jumped in the hotel bed which sits as high as the one we have at home. (Where we MUST LIFT him in to bed every night). At the RV Jack has to always carry him in to the RV and many times carry him down. Not to mention the fact that "Mr. I am too old to do much of anything" will not even get in to our RV bed without being lifted. I guess he needed a vacation too.
Some of the pictures I am posting will probably duplicate Jack's, except, as I have said before my short stature doesn't give me the same view of things his 6'2" gives him. So, I apologize in advance for any boob or crotch shots I may have taken.
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| Jack taking pictures of the most Southern point in the United States. We were 90 miles from Cuba standing here and 129 miles from the mainland of Florida. |
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| This is the tour train we rode later in the week. |
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| If you look closely you can see the 2 snakes in the case on the right. |
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| Jack has made a friend. |
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Not sure if this is a "crafted" fence or original coral from the ocean.
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| This is how huge I felt after eating at Hog's Breath. |
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| A home like this will go for close to a million dollars on Key West. Not to mention the $900.00 a month in taxes. |
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| A picture of one of the gardens at our hotel. |
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| Jack standing in front of a Banyan Tree. These trees can grow to a huge size. If one limb touches the ground it will start growing another tree. |
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| Little Miss Sydney catching a nap in the sun shine coming through the window. |
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| Another view of the hotel gardens. |
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| Hog's Breath Saloon. The bartender's name is Bryan and I heard him say the "F" word more times than Steven Tyler on A.I. Called Bill and Terry (and other family members whom I couldn't reach) from here and they were able to see Jack and me on the Internet. What I didn't know at the time was the fact that there were 3 or 4 cameras and we sat in front of another camera over an hour. |
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| Another view of the Hog's Breath Saloon. |
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| HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS BANNER MEANS........I'm just saying. |
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| Jack holding his 1st beer on Duval St. Oh, and if you believe that one I have some....... |
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| Can't read the sign Jack is standing by but it says "0" mile. "0" mile in the United States. |
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| We were told this big baby in his hat and on a pillow just had hip surgery. |
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| Can't remember her name or where she bartenders but as you can tell fabric was in short supply on Key West. |
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| Another view of the hotel pool area. |
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| This home survived the worst hurricane ever to hit the Keys. I believe the tour guide said the hurricane was in the 1800. |
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| I do remember this bar. Sits on the beach along the bike path back to our hotel. |
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| I just love taking pics of churches. I always ask for forgiveness for the crap I've done up to the point of passing the church. |
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| This is just plain freaky. But she blended in well with the culture of the island. |
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| I was too busy talking to remember what the tour guide said about this church. |
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| How could anyone dispute there is a God when you see something so beautiful? No human could make this up |
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| I LOVE THIS SAYING...........Jack and I use to crack each other up saying it. Again, me, so easily entertained. Jeff Dunham & Achmed. If you've never seen Jeff and his "puppets" this is a must see for a night of peeing your pants and laughing until your drink spews out of your nose. Swear to you this guy is a total hoot! |
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| Dinner at Carolina's. Very expensive and great atmosphere. |
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| Hog's Breath. |
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| You've heard of "open air gardens"? This is an open air laundromat. |
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| I love the teak wood on this house. |
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| I've seen a lot of things in my years here on Earth but never have I witnessed a "woman" taking off her bikini top in public. Not sure what her next step was but we didn't stick around to find out. Jack wanted to, of course, but divorce can be very costly. |
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| This is Angie and Ryan. Wonderful couple. You could tell that God made them for one another. Angie reminded me of Jack and Ryan of myself. They had gone for a shark tour and Ryan showed me some really awesome video of sharks jumping up to eat the bait the captain had on the line. Amazing! Wonderful couple who made my life just a little richer by meeting them, even if for a few hours. I noticed Ryan's tats and as always I'm curious as to why people get the tats that they do. There seems to always be a reason. And Ryan had his reasons. Several reasons. |
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| This tat represents his ex wife. Sucking a soul in through Satin and the soul escaping through triumph. |
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| This is a beautiful cross. |
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| Ryan, I can't remember what this tat was about. If you see this please let me know so that I can explain it correctly. Also, I'd love the one of Angie. |
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| This is Ryan's 1st. tat. The artist was his best friend who went to do this very tat (symbol means strength) for all of Ryan's family. Even his brother, who is a minister, has one of these "strength" tattoos. |
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I heard from Ryan today who informed me that I had the tat upside down. I'm hoping I got it right this time. Thanks, Ryan. Shout out to Angie too.
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This needs no explanation. Because of Him we all have free will.
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| Again, Ryan and Angie. From Philly. |
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| Jack's fisherman friend tasting one of Angie's oyster's on the shell. She shared with Jack as well. Can you say YUK? I snagged a couple of the crackers on Angie's plate before I came so close to hurling watching them slide those slippery suckers down their throat I had to turn my head the other way. OMG! |
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| A pic I snapped from the truck. Notice the sun rays in the sky and on the water as well as the tiny boat on the surface. |
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| I was so fascinated by the alligators we were able to see along the river's bank. At Gabe's suggestion we traveled through the Ever Glades on our way home. However, I got us lost in Miami so the trip home took us almost 12 hours. Certainly not a place where you want to get lost. |
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| Have to say I'd be kicking Willie's nut sack on Swamp People if I saw him trying to catch one of these beauties. I swear I kept waiting to hear Troy say, "Shute em Lizabeth. Shute em!" I know that this is the way of their lives, God's plan, nature, the cycle of life, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy. But I hate that we kill such beautiful creatures for their hides to make shoes, belts, purses and other crap to make a "fashion statement." We waste so many other materials it's very difficult for me to accept killing a living creature for "vanity" reasons when we have a ton of alternative ways to manufacture the material sh*t we think we need. |
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| Here's Sydney praying again. |
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| "Mom, PLEASE!!!! Can't you make him stop using the "F" word?" Sure, right, Sydney. Like me saying anything has worked these past 41 years. |
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| Tanner is in the back seat just snoozing away thinking to himself, "I just wish you'd all just shut up and get my butt home. I have some barking to do." |
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| The hotel pool area at night. I do believe my camera was not working properly or the pic was taken after a few margaritas. Can't remember really. |
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| Jack on the beach with Sydney BEFORE we realized that pets weren't allowed on this beach. |
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| Actually just snapped this photo because I loved the color of the lights that lined Duvall Street. Look closely and you may see something else. |
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| Have no idea why I took this pic except perhaps I was fascinated by the dread locks and tats. Oh and the see through skirt. |
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| Notice the white and black plastic floaties that keep the boat from hitting around it. |
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| Type in www.explorekeywesthistory.com and you can read all about these Roosters. It really is a fascinating history story. |
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| The bar at our hotel's poolside. This guy's bald head reminded me of Jimmy Buffet. |
It took us nearly 12 hours to get home. I got us lost in Miami which was about an hour and 1/2 detour. Trust me, Miami is not a place you want to get lost in. Back in the 90's Jack and I took a cruise and Miami was our city to ship out of. We chose to stay the night before departure of the cruise so we wouldn't have to rush so much on the actual day of departure. Anyway, being the trusting, naive creatures we WERE we decided to take a walk in downtown Miami. For the love of God how stupid were we? We heard a really large crowd of people and music blaring from some kind of outdoor venue. What do we do? Well, do I really need to tell you? The first clue that we should not be where we were was the fact that my purse was searched and we were patted down BEFORE entering the concert. Our second clue was when we entered the doors of the outdoor theater we saw seas of dark haired Cuban native concert goers. Jack and I were the only fair skinned, light haired people in the hundreds and hundreds of people that were waiting for the headliner of the concert to begin. I think seriously that's when the peeing my pants thing started. That coupled with hyperventilating made it very difficult for me to exit the concert without passing out. Jack will admit today how stupid that move was!
We had a truly great time. I think we drove our truck perhaps twice, maybe three times during the week. Otherwise we rode our bikes everywhere. Most people on the island either rode bikes or scooters. Oh, don't get me wrong. There were tons of cars and idiots driving like they were the only ones on the road but after day two you're like, "I'm making this light; if you hit me I hope you have good insurance!" And thanks to Mike Marshall, Jack's good friend from Zimmer, we were afforded his knowledge of the etiquette for bike riding. He taught Jack a few things regarding the rules of safe bike riding. Consequently I, too, have learned to be polite and most of the time "safe" while on any bike path. HOWEVER, there is always this group of people who just don't get it or really don't give a damn. Key West was no different. Groups of people would walk 6 abreast and not move an inch to permit you to go around them. I noticed some cultures walked on the wrong side of the sidewalk forcing the bike rider to also pass them on the wrong side of the path. While riding we had to be alert at all times. God forgive me but had I had a walking stick or baton I would have schmucked several of them up side their head. I did swear at a couple of them and that is where the Bitch #3 T shirt comes in.
It really was a long drive home for Jack. I felt bad for him but he darn nears goes in to cardiac arrest when he's a passenger in my own car so driving his truck while he's a passenger is like knowingly trying to kill him. I did offer to drive but of course he declined. Kind of like I do when he offers to do laundry. We saw a horrible accident on I75 around Tampa. A truck turned over and slid down the interstate on the driver's side of the truck. The topper of the truck lay one place, the bumper another place and numerous other pieces were strewn about. The driver was laying in the median being attended to by passersby. Traffic was bumper to bumper most of the way home.
Loved seeing the alligators in their natural habitat but regretted very much that we didn't stop to visit Gabe while he was still in Florida. Had I not gotten us lost in Miami we would have had the time.
Good to be back in our home away from home. The dogs have slept most of the day and I'm headed that way soon.
P.S. It was a terrific Red Solo Cup week!!
Oh and by the way. Every resort town we've ever been to has restaurants and bars lining the streets. People are eating 24/7, everything and anything you can imagine. The weight just keeps piling on.
